Leaders Benefit from Talking About Emotions

Leaders set the tone for the organization. What tends to happen is that a group of leaders and founders come together to decide on the mission, vision, and values of the company. Their decision is then cascaded and communicated across the hundreds of employees in the organization. These are also put up on the office walls and they stay there – on the sidelines. I encountered many managers who ask me how they can help their people remember the company values, more so live them out.

When I discovered Emotional Culture, I instantly started telling the leaders I work with that this was the answer to how their people will really live out the company’s culture, and not just memorize the words on the wall.


Here are three things I learned as I conducted Emotional Culture workshops with leaders:

1. Leaders play an important role in establishing the emotional culture in the workplace.

As Adam Grant (2022) states, “A supportive boss has your back and propels you forward. Even more than performance, great managers invest in people. They promote your growth and well-being. A leader’s duty is to care.”

There is a high tendency for employees to feel like they are robots when leaders only focus on the tasks, the cognitive side of culture, and performance. The more employees see that there is no room for emotions in the workplace, the more they experience “emotional labor”. According to an article written by Yoursapp (2022), emotional labor is described as the restraint and effort we need to have to seem emotionally appropriate. We are unable to show compassion and care for ourselves and others as we put all our energy into controlling our emotions.

Instead of focusing on being “emotionally appropriate” and seeing emotions as “voldemort” in the workplace, the leader has the power to initiate conversations that ask about how we are feeling (instead of doing) and how we would like to feel in the workplace (instead of what we want to be doing moving forward). By doing so, we are given the space to be human and be who we are, at the same time feel that the organization and our leaders care for us as human beings.


2. Leaders are often unaware of how powerful emotions in the workplace can be.

Before conducting an emotional culture workshop for leaders, one person came up to me and said “I always talk about emotions in the workplace! I wonder how this will be different.” She then confirmed with some of her colleagues how she would go to them and express her feelings. At the end of the workshop, she realized that she often talked about her negative feelings and never spoke about the positive ones.

"Talking about how we want to feel at work helps us to paint a picture of success for our future." ~Emotional Culture Leadership Workshop Participant, Leader of a large multinational food and beverage company

Managing the negative emotions in the workplace and talking about it can help us to care for others and make sure that they are "okay". The real opportunity is in the power of talking about positive emotions. These help us think of how we want to feel with every milestone, how that success will look like, and what we can do to reach that success. When our leaders intentionally talk about what positive emotions we are feeling and which ones we want to feel, we feel more than just being cared for. We feel that our leaders are investing in our growth, development, and wellbeing.


3. Leaders can start by being a role model.

It's no surprise that leaders need to start as a role model. When our leader stays away from talking about emotions, it sends an unconscious message that we should avoid topics around feelings. If our leader constantly complains and shares their frustrations, we are also likely to do the same and even share in those negative emotions.

As leaders, we want to model sharing also the ways we feel supported and connected with others. We want to share how we are curious about the lives of those around us or excited we are by a specific goal or project. We want to express our appreciation and gratitude for others, and even share when we felt the appreciation of others. Conversations like these, no matter how small and simple they may seem, can encourage and empower our employees.

When leaders set an example and express their positive emotions, their team members are likely to view them as genuine and more human (Men, 2018), possibly even making them more relatable. Men (2018) also mentions how Douglas Conant, the former CEO of Campbell Soup, wrote more than 30,000 handwritten thank-you notes to employees while he was leading the company. This may seem like a simple act but it was a conscious effort on Mr. Conant’s part to celebrate the strengths and contributions of his employees. He modeled the emotions of appreciation and gratitude through his actions, and didn’t just talk about how everyone should express gratitude.

Intentionally and mindfully talking about our emotions bring about important aspects of our humanity. This creates a more positive impact in the workplace and can make the difference between the leader caring for us and the leader investing in our growth and development as individuals (and not just as workers).
How are you going to start expressing your positive emotions in the workplace?





DISCOVER MORE ABOUT EMOTIONAL CULTURE
https://www.ridersandelephants.com/the-emotional-culture-deck?ref=PRKjg012n98_kJ

LEARN MORE ABOUT THE EMOTIONAL CULTURE MASTERCLASS
https://www.ridersandelephants.com/emotional-culture-deck-online-masterclass-course?ref=PRKjg012n98_kJ

USE MY CODE “CELEBRATEYOURSPARKLE” AND GET A HUGE DISCOUNT when you purchase anything from Riders & Elephants or when you join the Masterclass.





REFERENCES

Emotions in the workplace: Why managers need to care. (2022, May 25). Yours App. Retrieved July 14, 2023, from https://yoursapp.com/business/blog/workplace-emotions/

Grant, A. (2022). Retrieved July 20, 2023 from, https://www.facebook.com/AdamMGrant/posts/pfbid02TkbybQHf7M7tCPNdVM8m8DRJyz5g5HAmBwQrDfRViFWsDwPvHmcYJKZQJ6mPcio3l

Men, L. R. (2018, August 13). Creating a positive emotional culture: Why does it matter and what can communication leaders do? | Institute for Public Relations. Retrieved July 21, 2023, from https://instituteforpr.org/creating-a-positive-emotional-culture-why-does-it-matter-and-what-can-communication-leaders-do/